What should a woman do if she has a friend whom she suspects has an eating disorder? What if the friend denies it?
If she feels comfortable enough with that friend she should try and talk to her friend about it. If the friend denies it, then the woman should give her examples and signs of an eating disorder. Maybe then she will realize that she has an eating disorder. If she doesn't then I would just try to deter some of her problematic behavior. If she trusts you as a good friend, then she would listen. If she doesn't then, I would try to tell a family member of hers that she listens to. If that doesn't work then I would try an intervention. I value my friends and I would never want to see them hurt or hurting themselves. I never had to deal with a friend who had an eating disorder. That is what I would do if I had to. If she decides then, she doesn't want to be my friend, then maybe we weren't such good friends from the start.
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Having to confront a loved one about a eating disorder has to be one of the hardest things to do. You wonder how she will react towards you. Will she be upset with you? Will she listen? Will she be open to your suggestions and advice? I too have never been in this position, but I agree with the way you would handle it. I too would educate her on signs of eating disorders. I would assure her that I am here for her and want the best for her. I would try many different measures to protect my friend even if it meant losing her. As long as I know that I may have saved someones life, it would be worth it to me.
ReplyDeleteJust because your friend may not be receptive to your help doesn’t mean that they are not a good friend. Many people with an eating disorder feel embarrassed. If you approach them with an ultimatum of “if you don’t get help then you are not my friend” you may cause them to feel attacked, even though this is not your intension. They need to be assured that you will be there for them when they are ready to get help. This is not about friendship, this is about a disorder. An analogy of this would be trying to get a cat to let you pet them. If you grab at them, they will run away. However, if you relax, turn your hand over and let them come to you they are more likely to accept you. This allows them to become comfortable and before you know it they will be in your lap. People are very similar. Let them know that you care and will always be there to help.
ReplyDeleteMy wife had a friend that was in an abusive relationship and choose to stay in it. I think some of the feelings may be similar. She was embarressed and knew she had a problem but wasn't ready to deal with it. My wife was patient with her but let her know in no uncertain terms that it was not something she would be a part of. They are still friends to this day and her friend is now married to a differen man with two kids and happy. People with problems like eating disorders and abusive relationships have to want to get the help and be ready for themselves. Being a good friend and being there for them while making sure they know you do not judge them but that you won't condone the problem is hard to do but sometimes necessary.
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